Operation Kitchen Storm – Dr. Put’s Analysis and Final Conclusion
Editorial notes: Yet another guest insight by Dr. Put that only took me 5 months to insert into this blog. Sorry about that, yours truly Dr. Pull.
It’s only now – finally being able to relax, stretching out besides the main pool of my hazienda “Maria Dolores” in southern Tijuana- that I am able to put all the events of the past weeks into perspective.
Changes
Let me start by telling you a little story about two daoistic monks that were on their way to the highest situated monastery named Maoshan. Shortly before they reached the wooden gate, a flock of birds shat on their robes repeatedly changing the colour of the latter from orange to a yellowy white. While the disciple struggled, the master remained calm and smiled. And finally he answered the disciples asking look with the words: “It’s good to change”. Rest assured there might be some moral to that story. As per usual.
In Dantes kitchen, where the pullability crew had been lost for almost two weeks, everything changed with the arrival of PM “The Nighttrain” Kågström. You know what they say about nighttrains: There is no stopping them and they always reach their goal. Oh, rest assured indeed! Looking back we accomplished more in those three days of joint effort than in the two weeks before. By only giving up a few unnecessary practices like “writing the blog”, “sleeping” and “eating”. Easy, so easy.
And the face of the kitchen started to change….
PM “The Nighttrain” Kågström is now an honorary board member of PI Ltd.
Distractions
Any great men doing any great deed face constant distraction from different corners of temptation. And it takes a lot of resting assured and per usual-ing to resist them. Dr. Puts Achilles heel was Swedish women. One in particular. And as Hakan from the Ironshop says: “Building with a travelling mind is like riding a blind horse”. Luckily Hakans speciality is Newton and not horses. Or women. Or building for that matter.
Dr. Pulls Achilles heel was Dr. Put being a useless, push-uppy, mindwandering snail. So, in order to focus Dr. Puts efforts, he treated PI Ltd’s number 1 to Swedish cinematic greatness: films like “Brüno” and “Year one” made ALL other options look like a Japanese Lotus graden. Even putting up tiles.
Tiles
“It’s down that road. I know it!”-“How?”-“Well, I have a feeling..” And suddenly you find yourself wandering the outskirts of Stockholm in blazing sunlight in search of the mighty “Kakelspecialist”. It sounds like an old man of great wisdom when all it really is is a shop full of toilets and tiles. But look at the way we were treated: Wearing our stinky builders outfit, that already proved advantageous in getting us some free seats in the T-bana, once again did the job. We were treated differently than the well-dressed Stockholmians. We were treated by the staff as one of them. Which was fun…until they started to use their crazy “builders lingo”. It was then that Dr. Pull showed his true greatness by saying: “We want to put up some tiles. Give us everything we need for that.” And it was also then that the store clerk realised he could sell us anything including useless, ugly-coloured buckets, sponges and tools that are still assessed by PI Ltd’s intelligence department for their function. For all the people that are using this blog as a guide to build their own kitchen (which is an estimated 36% of the world population), one more resting assured: Do NOT carry 3m2 of tiles. EVER. Take a taxi and the driver might just be a retired kitchen builder himself (no kidding!).
Mosebacke
“Where it all starts is where it all ends” is true in so many aspects of this Swedish adventure of Dr Put. With a tear in my eye and a rare selection of endangered animals on the grill, I shall close my platinum Mac Book Pro and go for a game of Polo against the Syrian Royalty. But I could not possibly leave you all without some final advice: It’s really in the surroundings! (as crap golf-players say)
I don’t think Pullability Industries Ltd. could have done such a great job without the help of so many people: Specialists from Canada were flown in to inspect the work at different stages and used shark-metaphors in their advice.
An ACTUAL true kitchen specialist sawed the crucial holes. In the sands of Thailand, Dr.Pull-Brother and his lovely girl (the two of them have a REAL kitchen. And a Jacuzzi! Why am I Dr. Pull’s friend again and not his brothers?) supported us. There was even people making us feel not-so-bad about being hungover (thanks Johanna!) but bad about our slackline skills (thanks Roger!) A martial artist who almost put half of PI Ltd. out of service. (the same half of PI Ltd. who got his ass kicked in armwrestling by a girl just minutes before). A hippie from Urkult who can’t keep track of his dates. A combustion engineer who had a hybrid taxi explained to him. The Nightrain and the wattenpass. And last but least: The Chief Designer! Without her, we would have been like taxidrivers with no onboard navigation. Like trains in the wrong tunnel. Like Joon and Phil. Thanks, Mia! Our hearts are beating like jungle drums.
Curtain call
May life write another chapter in our books of life. In Paris. I promise.
